thanks mom i love you :]

You know i spent the day with my mom and it got me to thinking how we all take our parents for granted. Growing up we think our parents are always going to be there. They are always gonna pick us up when we are down. When we would fall and scrape our knees their the ones that brushed it off and told us how big we are. They are always gonna believe in our dreams no matter how stupid they sound. They want the best for us even not matter the circumstances. Even when they are mad and upset yelling those things are said out of anger but they are saying it because they really love us. I though bout how one day my mom isn't going to be here, something trust i dont wanna think about, but each year i celebrate her the more i realize what she has done and what she has achieved in each in everyone of us kids. She brought me home one night when she didnt have to. She feed and nourished me when she didnt have to. She was the one that was there each time i had my heart broken, she cried too. She has given me everything she could just to see me smile. In her own little way she is proud of me, i've made my mistakes but i know she still loves me. Her love is unconditional and it will never leave me. In many ways i look up to my mom, she is one of the strongest people i know. One day though she will be gone, but her legacy will still live inside of me. Yes it will be hard for each and everyone of us, but dont take what they taught us for granted. Make the most of it and try to spend as much time with them and let them know how much you appreciate the things they do. And Mom i love you :] never forget that, your the bestest mom ever !!!!

maybe this is the loneliness im feeling...

we all have our yearning for the "one". one to spend our everyday with, to share our life with. the one you want to be with forever... i've spent alot of time thinking how much i want it, but how much i dont need it right now. i think all of us are yearning for love and happiness and being alone isn't the way we wanted it to be. & alot of us are scared. being alone sometimes sucks ill admit but its taught me alot bout myself and what i think i want to change before i can actually be with someone again. i felt at one point in time that i needed someone there all the time, and in fact i didnt i was just so insecure. now realizing how stupid some of my decisions i've learned that being alone has shown me alot that i could change and somethings i need to learn. i feel independent and now i see life at a different angle now, and many opportunities have opened up. 6 months ago i would have given it all up for a guy, who now i cant even say i know anymore. do i regret ever being with him no, but do i wish i could go back and change things...no;lessoned learned. i have had my heart broken more than once and each time is harder. trust is easy taken but not easily given. i have a big heart for people and even the ones that have hurt i want the best for them. sometimes i feel the loneliness im feeling is a sense of security, and i was looking for it all in the wrong places. i thought being with someone would make me feel whole again, no it just made me more insecure about myself. not being with someone has taught me to be stronger, because there will be people to let you down, and normally the ones that love you the most will hurt you. do they mean to...no, does it mean they dont love you...no. we are all human we all make mistakes. the lord lets us choose forgiveness, he forgave 7 times 70. i am trying to find me, find out who i am... & when i find me... i think ill be able to be with someone totally. i think the loneliness im feeling is trully finding myself.