Lately i have felt grief, fear, failure, loneliness.... when i came back home it helped some but i still feel failure. I have been running in circles trying to find myself but I always seem to give up and i end up in a situation i cant change, and then it gets worse. i'm so tired of feeling this way. i am getting my life on track now i am starting over, maybe one chance can change it all. i read my bible today and i read in jeremiah how god will never give up on us all we have to do is call upon him and he will be there, and i realized i havent been lonely just looking in all the wrong places. i'm not one to judge i have made my mistakes and god has forgiven me and has forgotten. i guess since god didnt make us all perfect we dont forgive and forget like he does, but he helps us cope. alot of people ask me, why are you single?, heres your answer.... i wanna find myself first. i believe to give yourself to someone you have to be one with yourself first. i have my goals and dreams and im ready to face whatever it takes, i realized i used excuses and got to scared and begin to settle. im not settling for anything less than i deserve. im thankful for the ones god has put in my life to let me see these faults and i am very grateful! this last year has been the hardest year of my entire life, and now im stable enough to realize what mistakes i made, and how far i've come and matured. thank you jesus :]
